I had to Google it.
But I shall let you all figure it out on your own, seems like I might partake here and now.
What is it that makes me want to do things that are hard,
strenuous, stressful, dirty, difficult, tiring, painful...all for a cause...no matter how insignificant it might seem in the future?
Is it my will to please? Is it my will to accomplish an impossible task? Is it my commitment to others around me? Is it my
commitment to the "cause?"
Or am I just selfish and like the appreciation that comes from doing these things?
I think it is a combination of all the above, wrapped up into one little package that defines who I am. I seem to always be looking for a deadline, an experience, a dance (we shall say here) between the impossible and what I think is the possible. Doesn't it make you work THAT much harder when people say, "It can't be done. Not in that
time frame." Boy, that just kicks in my resolve and commits me to proving NOTHING is impossible and it all can be done.
I got down on some fellas in one of my last jobs because they had trouble hiking in a lot of tar to a lookout. Yea, it weighed a lot. Yea, they had trouble in the morning and it was going to be a long day. Yea, they ended up with bloody backs from blisters packing this stuff up. And then they left it a half mile from the lookout for the lady manning this place to come and haul it up! I lost a friend in that little conflict of interests. You are paid to do a job. If the job asks you to go above and beyond for a short while, or even a long while (time is relative)....than you should do your job completely. Recognition or no.
The point of this tirade is what I have been doing for the last three weeks. I get up at 0430 every day so I can get to work at 0600 and have my gear ready to go. We drive to the
work sight, hump in anywhere from 25 to 35 pounds of paint/per person/not including water...food...equipment for anywhere from 1 to 3 miles (the grade is not something to laugh at), then hike up and down the hills all day in 90 to 100 degree heat, then come out the 1 to 3 miles, and drive home. Okay. I KNOW there will be people out there who say, "Oh, that's not so bad! 25 to 35 pounds!?" Add gear and 3 quarts of water and you have between 30 and 40 lbs. "One to three miles? That's not that bad! Shoot, I do that backpacking!" The grade is steep for the first mile...you are soaked in sweat by the time you crest the top...this is no casual hiking trail. "90 to 100 degree heat? That's not so bad!" When it is 70 degrees at 0430 in the morning, it IS bad to be doing that kind of work. "Hike up and down the hills all day? That's easy!" Painting trees means going up the hill, down the hill, marking, carrying enough paint to last a couple hours. Slopes on the steeper units are around 55%...places where they need helicopters to remove the logs, you know about running lines in high school? Run lines up and down a 55% slope for six hours. Not to mention the
sidehill you must do, your feet take a beating. NOW, after all that, walk out the 1 to 3 miles, drive home, take care of gear...THEN go home.
Ok, so by the time I get in at night, it is typically 1730 to 1800 plus some.
Occasionally I have to work in the office for another hour. So you go home spent, your clothes are still damp with sweat and paint, the dishes from the morning aren't done, and it is now 1900. Hobbling around on sore feet, you still have to cook dinner and eat, get things ready for the next day, then get up at 0430 to do it all again.
Then they add a Saturday or two to the mix.
Now, the whole point of this is NOT sympathy. The point is, last weekend, when I got those huckleberries....I was SO committed to this project, that I hauled a 25 pound saw up there to clear our approach road! Free work to make it easier on us for Monday. (Ducking and crossing downed logs will tire you after two weeks of doing squats under them with that kind of weight. But who is going to haul a saw when they still have the weight of paint and gear?)
This is what I'm talking about. THIS is work. THIS is important. THIS is helping out the people around you in their time of need. Even if it is your weekend.
And I am having a ball! In the last three weeks, I have lost probably 10 pounds in weight. I can hike fast with a heavy load. I can tally for six cruisers(harder than you think), I can mark timber, I can make decisions on what to cut based on species/spacing/canopy/and prescription, I can finally cruise timber again! I can get worn out during the course of a day and come back in the next morning raring to go. I've made friends with many people I have never spent any time with. (Hardship seems to draw folks together. We all kinda look at each other and smile with a certain, "Yep" attitude. If you don't know what that feels like, you haven't been in this situation.)
I know I know, this sounds like some sort of "bragging" or whatever you want to call it. But again, I must bring you back to the point. Why do I enjoy this kind of
commitment and work? I feel tough, I feel like I can do it all, I feel proud and honored to be working around the kinds of people I have come to know closely over the course of the experience. (Not to mention, no one says, "
AHH, they let you out of the office today?" No more of THAT crap.)
They all nod and look at me like:
"Yep."