Do not question yourself
Do not question yourself.
Inside, you know what is right to do at the time. Sometimes you ignore these things, sometimes you don't. I believe that when you ignore them, either you're being incredibly selfish, or you just don't understand the full consequence of your actions.
This DOES have something to do with hunting, I'm sure you have all put something in your head already that you've thought you made a bad decision doing, only in the end, to find out it was correct.
Right now, for me, is one night before the end of rifle season for deer. I have tried every day this week to go out, for at least half a day. However, work has always trumped that card and I have come home to kick myself. On Monday, I cut out for home at 2:30. The whole way home I told myself, "Don't go out. Don't go out. There isn't enough time, the roads are TERRIBLE, you'll only have an hour and a half to hunt...and THEN what?" Well, I got home and saw two does in my yard essentially. That sealed the deal. I went inside and changed in record time, grabbed the 30-06 and went back to the truck. The does were still there. I drove down the road 50 yards and a 4-point buck (BIG) crossed the road in front of me. This got my blood pumping, so, I got on it and headed out. On the Interstate, I passed one crash from a kid sliding out and everyone was driving about 35 mph. This went on to where I could finally cut off onto even slower, local roads. That led me onto snow-covered Forest Service roads, which led me into 12 inches of snow on back roads, which wasn't good even in four wheel drive. I knew I only had about 2 miles to go, so I pressed on and eventually parked. By this time, I had about one hour of daylight. I hiked through about 8 inches of soft snow on top of some harder stuff, to get to the ridge. Actually, hiking doesn't cover it, I was essentially running. Hiking so hard that I was to the point of coughing, wracking phlegm from my poor throat. And, of course, I had followed an old drag trail all the way up, someone had killed a deer up there over Thanksgiving weekend. I hiked the ridge, no time to go where I knew the deer have been. I cut some fresh tracks and ended up going back down toward the road in a thick, brushy area. I was wet from sweat and the exertion getting UP the hill, and going down I was getting even wetter from snow dropping off the brush...down the coat, on my hands, in my boots, everywhere...even down the trousers. It was getting close to dark, the deer tracks led to a pair of beds and then jumped up the hill. (They weren't super fresh, but I'd figure I could catch up.) But I stood there and thought, "If I twist an ankle up here now, I'm done for." I was crossing downed timber, pushing through snow-laden brush, and there was no dry wood to be found. Reality set in, so I, in turn, set off for the road. I got to the truck shortly after dark, dripping wet, my hair frozen, my trousers soaked, terrible. Terribly stupid.
So that was last Monday.
Ever since then, I've been planning on cutting out of work at 12:00 to hunt an area I know holds big deer. (I know this because now, two fellas have brought either the buck, or the pictures in to work.) This doesn't help. Neither does the constant ribbing I receive at work about NOT killing anything. "He's new. He's putting work before hunting. He doesn't have his priorities in order." I hear this from EVERYONE, including my boss.
But I know better.
We have deadlines and I am dealing with an employee. She asked if she had to work tomorrow and I told her yes. Even though this is one of her scheduled days off, the deadlines must be met. How would that look if I told her to come in and work on one of her SCHEDULED days off, and then I skip out? I almost took off this afternoon, but about the time I was going to leave, she showed up to ask a question. How would THAT have come across? "If it isn't important for him to be here, why the hell would I come in on my day off?" I was glad I stayed.
I had to call my Dad for confirmation tonight after work. He told me exactly what I needed to hear and then said, "...but you already knew that didn't you?" Yep. Just wanted SOMEONE to tell me I was doing the best thing given the circumstances.
So, the trick here is this: hunting is not everything. Hunting is a big part of my life, but I know when other things (at the time) are more important to follow through with. Otherwise, who can trust you?
On another note, outside my window on the darkened porch, a flamulated owl just landed on the railing. He noticed me inside, my face lit by the computer screen. It turned around and bobbed his head in circles, trying to figure out what I was...a face floating in darkness! I bobbed my head back at it a couple times, then it rushed the window and turned...off into the darkness. Won't the wildlife biologist like to hear about THIS! Very very cool.
How about that.
Inside, you know what is right to do at the time. Sometimes you ignore these things, sometimes you don't. I believe that when you ignore them, either you're being incredibly selfish, or you just don't understand the full consequence of your actions.
This DOES have something to do with hunting, I'm sure you have all put something in your head already that you've thought you made a bad decision doing, only in the end, to find out it was correct.
Right now, for me, is one night before the end of rifle season for deer. I have tried every day this week to go out, for at least half a day. However, work has always trumped that card and I have come home to kick myself. On Monday, I cut out for home at 2:30. The whole way home I told myself, "Don't go out. Don't go out. There isn't enough time, the roads are TERRIBLE, you'll only have an hour and a half to hunt...and THEN what?" Well, I got home and saw two does in my yard essentially. That sealed the deal. I went inside and changed in record time, grabbed the 30-06 and went back to the truck. The does were still there. I drove down the road 50 yards and a 4-point buck (BIG) crossed the road in front of me. This got my blood pumping, so, I got on it and headed out. On the Interstate, I passed one crash from a kid sliding out and everyone was driving about 35 mph. This went on to where I could finally cut off onto even slower, local roads. That led me onto snow-covered Forest Service roads, which led me into 12 inches of snow on back roads, which wasn't good even in four wheel drive. I knew I only had about 2 miles to go, so I pressed on and eventually parked. By this time, I had about one hour of daylight. I hiked through about 8 inches of soft snow on top of some harder stuff, to get to the ridge. Actually, hiking doesn't cover it, I was essentially running. Hiking so hard that I was to the point of coughing, wracking phlegm from my poor throat. And, of course, I had followed an old drag trail all the way up, someone had killed a deer up there over Thanksgiving weekend. I hiked the ridge, no time to go where I knew the deer have been. I cut some fresh tracks and ended up going back down toward the road in a thick, brushy area. I was wet from sweat and the exertion getting UP the hill, and going down I was getting even wetter from snow dropping off the brush...down the coat, on my hands, in my boots, everywhere...even down the trousers. It was getting close to dark, the deer tracks led to a pair of beds and then jumped up the hill. (They weren't super fresh, but I'd figure I could catch up.) But I stood there and thought, "If I twist an ankle up here now, I'm done for." I was crossing downed timber, pushing through snow-laden brush, and there was no dry wood to be found. Reality set in, so I, in turn, set off for the road. I got to the truck shortly after dark, dripping wet, my hair frozen, my trousers soaked, terrible. Terribly stupid.
So that was last Monday.
Ever since then, I've been planning on cutting out of work at 12:00 to hunt an area I know holds big deer. (I know this because now, two fellas have brought either the buck, or the pictures in to work.) This doesn't help. Neither does the constant ribbing I receive at work about NOT killing anything. "He's new. He's putting work before hunting. He doesn't have his priorities in order." I hear this from EVERYONE, including my boss.
But I know better.
We have deadlines and I am dealing with an employee. She asked if she had to work tomorrow and I told her yes. Even though this is one of her scheduled days off, the deadlines must be met. How would that look if I told her to come in and work on one of her SCHEDULED days off, and then I skip out? I almost took off this afternoon, but about the time I was going to leave, she showed up to ask a question. How would THAT have come across? "If it isn't important for him to be here, why the hell would I come in on my day off?" I was glad I stayed.
I had to call my Dad for confirmation tonight after work. He told me exactly what I needed to hear and then said, "...but you already knew that didn't you?" Yep. Just wanted SOMEONE to tell me I was doing the best thing given the circumstances.
So, the trick here is this: hunting is not everything. Hunting is a big part of my life, but I know when other things (at the time) are more important to follow through with. Otherwise, who can trust you?
On another note, outside my window on the darkened porch, a flamulated owl just landed on the railing. He noticed me inside, my face lit by the computer screen. It turned around and bobbed his head in circles, trying to figure out what I was...a face floating in darkness! I bobbed my head back at it a couple times, then it rushed the window and turned...off into the darkness. Won't the wildlife biologist like to hear about THIS! Very very cool.
How about that.