The Morning Schedule

So recently I had a "suspicious" mole removed from my back. It was actually fairly interesting as it was performed in the backroom of the Doctor's office and was over within 30 minutes. I couldn't feel a thing due to the local anesthesia, but could smell and hear the cauterizing...which was just plain bizarre. Much to my amazement, I got three stitches to boot. As I'm leaving, they told me to keep it dry...which basically means no showers. Well, it's at a spot on my back where I cannot reach it, so even if I did get it wet, "patting it dry" and "reapplying a bandage" would be pretty much impossible (as Sarah typically goes to the gym before dawn.) This basically means I'm taking a sponge bath for ten days.

Since the bathroom off our bedroom doesn't have a bathtub...I have to use the upstairs-kinda-creepy-bathroom as well as the kitchen sink. The animals continue to help as best they can, and it's led to some trying mornings. I will attempt to convey the absolute frustration that can occur around 0530 when one with stitches on his back lives with three cats and a dog.

- Lucca wakes up at 0430 and scratches her neck, licks her lips, and paces around...waiting for Sarah's alarm to go off and feed her.
- Cats get let out of the room and I'm able to enjoy about 30 minutes of quiet.
- My alarm goes off and I begin the morning ritual
- First the bathroom, then the contacts
- Grab a towel and shampoo and open bathroom door
- Tate is waiting within two feet of said door, and will meander one step in front of me...escorting me to the kitchen sink.
- Lucca sleeps on the couch
- Tate jumps on the kitchen stool to watch
- I warm up the water and proceed to wash my head (yep, face too) with shampoo.
- Blue sits near the sliding glass door (opposite side of the kitchen than Tate) and stares in amazement as I dry my hair.
- I take the towel and shampoo back to the bathroom...with Tate in the lead...one step ahead...then she FLOPS in front of the bathroom door.
- Step over Tate, get hissed at, and put stuff away.
- Come out of bathroom with Tate in the lead yet again...she ambles upstairs...yes, one step ahead
- Fix rugs that Blue has tussled up in her normal morning "rip snort" around the house
- Lucca watches the procession with uninterested eyes
- Blue chases her tail and finds something incredibly interesting under the rugs...messing them up for the second time
- Tate keeps watch when I go into the upstairs bathroom
- Fill tub with about six inches of tepid water and basically have a very unsatisfying sponge bath
- Step over Tate leaving bathroom and get hissed at
- Tate enters the bathroom to lick the remaining water from the tub...then she follows me downstairs. (I know, bizarre right?)
- Straighten out rugs again while Blue tears around.
- Put shake on the blender and get a BIIIIG sigh from Lucca when I turn it on
- Meanwhile, Tate waits in the sink for a drink of water
- Have to force Tate out of sink while pouring coffee (damn thing drips all over the place.)
- Meanwhile, Tate is never more than two feet from my feet...she runs to my pack...one step ahead of me while I put the thermos in
- Hearing the pack straps click is Lucca's signal to get up off the couch
- I sit on the steps and start putting on my boots. Tate is laying beside me desperate for petting, Blue watches the shoelaces dance around with an enraptured look on her face, and Lucca sits down one foot behind me.
- Give Lucca an over-the-shoulder-hug, finish tying shoelaces, and get up
- Tate hisses at me
- Lucca's up in a flash, tap dancing over by the treat jar
- Tate sulks away and typically chases Blue (who is back to chasing her tail and playing in the rugs.)
- Give Lucca a treat which she takes with a huge inhale...munches loudly...then returns to the couch.
- I head to the backdoor and look out the window to the cat door in the garage (Loki goes out in the morning and just sits in the garage....it's weird.)
- Open screen door and let it go so it slams.
- Loki sloooowwwwwlllyyy comes out and tiptoes across the lawn, smelling every blade of grass, every leaf, and every bug on the way in.
- Hold door while he oozes inside and jumps up on the freezer for a snack (it's where their food dish is.)
- Lock door and head to work.

Seriously, this happens

Every. Single. Day.