I hate grocery stores

So I didn't go to the grocery store last week like I'd planned, because of the hockey game..no time. I checked my cc balance prior to going to the supermarket and found out that because of my trip to Oregon, I only had about $200 to spend. Ok, budget time! (I usually buy food for a month or so...yes, one of THOSE people.) No worries. I went to the store sans a list, always a good idea when you are starving and need to stay within a budget. Little did I know that the old people of CDA had sent a memo to each other, requesting that all members be present at the Safeway off 4th at exactly 1200 noon on Saturday! Hmm, I need to figure out the secret handshake so I can get the skinny on THOSE congregations. Pulled the sheep over my peepers they did. So, the store was full of milling, groaning, slow old people. I would wait as they looked over labels and examined mustard for authenticity (I guess) until they realized they were holding half the store up. Then we all would battle for position, it was like Nascar in there with the few people under the age of 50....weaving and swerving, jockeying for position. Of course, I left the store without many things I wanted to pick up. Somehow, I remembered to buy beer. Call it a stroke of luck or a stroke of genius after that race! OK. Got to the checkout lane. KNEW I shouldn't get in the short line I got into because of two old women ahead of me and an older gal at the register. Just spelled trouble. They battled with idle chitchat, debit cards, checkbooks, prices, coupons...you name it, they dealt with it. The gift certificate for Home Depot they bought wouldn't scan, so "Johnny" had to run in the back and dig through mounds of rocks to find a good one. I say this because "Johnny" was a small kid and he was gone for a long time. I wonder about their storage system sometimes. He came back and it worked, well, the cashier had to refund the gal in cash, then rescan all the groceries for some reason to make it all work. Then they called in reinforcements, at which time a nice little conversation broke out. I timed it all. Fifteen minutes in line. Cool! Made it home in record time, my landlord tailed me all the way home...how could she possibly know I was there, then get behind me on the interstate at such a random time? I don't don't know, but I swear they were put here to pester me. Putting away groceries, I was kneeling down, putting away veggies and stood up. Hit my head so hard on the freezer door that I saw a bright flash of light and hit my knees again. I prayed to the refrigerator gods, holding the back of my head with my face in broccoli. I hate getting groceries. So, I had a beer. Stroke of GENIUS me remembering the beer, I'll tell ya.